About four years ago, to celebrate mental health awareness week, I wrote and published a post about the storm that helped quieten part of the anxiety, Australian pop-punk band With Confidence. It was all about our origin story and the first three tours I followed in some way, shape, or form. The year is now 2021, they are about to release their third, self-titled, full-length record, and I have decided to write the follow-up to this, the next chapter, if you will. 

I re-read the original post, and I got struck by a line, somewhere in the middle: "Your anxiety wonders if you're not just infatuated, as if you were the cliché of a school girl with a crush on a pop star and would move on to the next one at the speed of sound." I genuinely had that thought, back in the day, as I was jumping on various night coaches and stupid planes across Europe after listening to a band for less than two months. But I knew it wasn't the case- a feeling, somewhere in my gut. If I could tell something to 2017 me, it would be this: don't trust the anxiety. Trust your instincts instead. (Also, don't mix spirits.)

Since these three original tours and the last night at the London Forum, complaining about security, missing my train home, and the Portugal-shaped bruise on my ribs instead of crying because I knew it would be a while before I saw With Confidence live again, things have changed a lot in my life and in the band's history. I'm not here to dwell on the less than shiny parts. There has been enough of it being done everywhere, and some things are best left in the past. But the one thing I'll say is this: by the time 2018 rolled around, I knew I would have given anything to see this stupid little lovely band again. (Alternatively, I feel robbed of the Tonight Alive tour.)

2018 in the scene marked the last Vans Warped Tour as a cross-country, summer-long, iconic and spirit-breaking event, and this alone was enough to make me want to go. By the time the festival started teasing line-up announcements, I was pondering everything, making wishlists all the time. "If With Confidence are on it, I'm going, no questions asked," I told myself more than once. March 1st came and went, With Confidence's name appeared in black block letters on a lovely shade of orange on the poster, and there I was, officially going to Warped Tour. It took organising, my biggest adventure this far, picking the dates I would be going to and, because California was clashing with Taylor Swift's reputation tour and Florida was expensive, little old me ended up in Toronto, Detroit, and Chicago.

I don't know if I truly have a best day of my life, like, ever, but if there was a shortlist, a top ten of sorts, the Toronto date of Warped Tour would be a contender. Being at the festival I had heard about and dreamt of ever since I was a shy little teenager who listened to Simple Plan in her bedroom was something close to an accomplishment, and so was watching them in their home country that day. I adored discovering new crowds, seeing how people did it on the other side of the Atlantic, and there are only good memories linked to that MTV Spring Break type of day. I remember sitting on some sort of wooden deck at the end of the day, watching Underoath, shiny dragonflies, and the sunset over Toronto all at once, and I thought, today was perfect. I remember turning up to that tiny stage around the back, the inflatable owly.FM stage, hearing Jayden say "What's up, we're With Confidence from Sydney, Australia, let's have some fun" and think shit, I'm home.

Detroit, Michigan, included a little bit of rain and a meet-and-greet situation, which was more about me wanting to drop by and say hello like a middle-aged lady who wants to stop at someone's house out of the blue for a cup of tea. Past the third tour, past 2017, there are a lot less stories of me drinking too much after a show. There are no Uprawr nights, and there is no me pouring a vodka miniature into a Starbucks iced latte at five in the afternoon, and, yes, it tasted as disgusting as it sounds, and I still don't know why I did it. I couldn't tell you if there was ever a train of thought behind me not drinking at any of these shows, if it was a conscious decision or not, though I do know work was involved a lot as well as the fact that I was on my own for the most part, and not missing the last train home. And I kinda have the sneaky feeling that, though through no fault of my own, being so close to losing one of my favourite bands made me want to appreciate every second of every show afterwards, warts and all, and maybe making sure I remembered it all was essential.

Following Warped Tour, two main things happened in the crossed wires of mine and With Confidence's lives.
A- I found myself in one of the darkest places I have ever been, again.
B- They released their second full-length record, Love And Loathing.
I listened to it for the first time on the shuttle bus to my old workplace, and I was sitting at one of these seats where you've got the glass panel in front, so you kind of have to stare at your own reflection for the whole journey. It was warm outside, sometime in August, the remains of the heatwave the UK experienced in the unforgettable summer of 2018. When I pressed play on That Something, the lead single and opening track, I smiled like an idiot and did so for the following thirty-eight minutes and thirty-seven seconds. I am not good at hiding my facial reactions to music, and I often find myself grinning like crazy or looking majorly emotional in public transport. Such is life.
There is always a nagging worry about listening to the follow-up to an album you have loved as deeply and unconditionally as I love Better Weather. As embarrassing and corny as it still sounds in 2021, there was a time when Voldemort, and then, Better Weather became my lifeline, and, as a fan, how do you learn to love what comes next? Where do you fit it in your heart? Unconsciously, your expectations are a lot higher than you want them to be. You know you love the band and the artist, you know this will not change, but how does it work if you don't connect to the next record as much?
I guess it's not a matter of quantity but corners of your life. Better Weather was a lifeline, ugly word and all. I don't know what big word Love And Loathing falls under, but it found a space in my life, in all its uniqueness, in all its emotion, in all its nuances, and in the way this band doesn't force itself into tiny boxes they don't belong in.

The main reason why I didn't attend as many shows of the Love And Loathing tour as I normally do when it comes to With Confidence is that I was, after a three-year-wait, following a large chunk of The Story So Far's tour across Europe, and I happen to only be a small human with a limited amount of annual leave, and not yet the ability to teleport. I ended up in Birmingham, at Mama Roux, which has grown to become one of my favourite venues in the country and a perfect setting for the Love And Loathing experience, and this night mostly meant bonding with other people over our love for this band and their music. You never know how things are going to go when you're on your own for things you used to have company and, again, I shouldn't have given in to the anxiety. I wish I could just remind myself all the time and make it work. Just don't give in to the anxiety. I wish it was that simple.
I can't help but remember how I, once again, kid myself into thinking I would stay nicely on the sidelines and take it all in, so I wore a pretty outfit, not-mosh-friendly skirt and all, and it didn't take long until I gave up and crowdsurfed. I also remember crying my little heart out during Tails, and someone hugging me. This time in my life was the end of the apocalypse and the start of something new all at once, and I didn't know what to make of this strange limbo.
Long story short, when I took days off from work for the aforementioned The Story So Far tour, my manager encouraged me to take the Monday off as well instead of having a long weekend off, coming back, and then having a further two days off. I thought I had enough annual leave left for it (which is a story for another day), so I did, and my first reflex was to check if there was any With Confidence show I could find my way to in between a stop in Stuttgart and a stop in Amsterdam. The Love And Loathing tour had its last stop in Cologne, I decided the six-hour-long coach journey was "not too far" because geography is the last thing on my mind when I'm being an idiot, and I ended up in Cologne. Fun fact, I have been here twice in my life and still haven't seen this place with a shred of daylight. It was dark and rainy when I got to the venue, I got emotional, it was the height of the moth memes, which were all over the setlist, and my first attempt at stage-diving was cut short when I saw the sheer terror on the face of the girl who stood closest to the stage.

I have spoken about this under completely different circumstances, about two years ago, but every once in a while, I look at American tours and talk myself out of attending every last one of them, and I'm pretty sure I have done this for over a decade now. It happened again sometime in the summer and early autumn of 2018, because, after attending Warped Tour in Canada and in the United States, now I had a taste of it, I couldn't get enough. Being kicked out of my house made me change my plans, but just so the world knows, I truly wanted to attend the Love And Loathing in Paradise tour. A With Confidence and Broadside double-headliner, if I'm not mistaken, would have been a fantastic line-up and walk down Memory Lane, but money had to go somewhere else instead. (Like saucepans and moving home.)
But after a conversation at the end of the Cologne show, because I grew to have conversations with the With Confidence boys instead of drunk babbling in their faces, I kept a piece of information in the back of my mind, and I stopped talking myself out of exciting things.

Somewhere in between November 2018 and March 2019, I stopped giving up on things I could do and could afford and stopped denying myself the adventures I so longed for. I hopped on a plane to Los Angeles, California, without really telling anyone, and I found myself on a sunnier side of the globe with three shows planned: Mat Kerekes at the Echo, With Confidence and Set It Off at the Roxy, and State Champs at the House of Blues. Full disclaimer, going to see State Champs in Anaheim was the true catalyst behind the journey, but Set It Off's tour, which With Confidence were a part of, was a picture-perfect things-falling-into-place moment.
What I mostly remember from this show was the before, waiting for doors to open and walking up and down the Sunset Strip, taking in the sights, seeing the hotel where they filmed the rehearsal dinner scene in Freaky Friday, and getting lost in the cutest bookstore. I remember going into the venue at twenty-past six and coming back out after eleven, and the two American people I spoke to were extremely confused when I explained that, back in the UK, at eleven in the evening after a show, people were on a train home, not in the venue. We drove to Denny's, and I made it back to my Airbnb at two or three in the morning, having had such a fun night. (And having met Jack Barakat from All Time Low, which was the cherry on the cake.) I also crowdsurfed and almost got kicked out of the venue, as I didn't know it wasn't allowed. Considering Josh correcting himself after asking for more crowdsurfing from behind his drumkit, I guess I wasn't the only one who was in the dark about crawling on top of strangers. I almost got kicked out of the venue, but the bridge to Dinner Bell is always going to be my time to badly angry fingerpoint, my time to shine, my moment, my fireworks, and my magic trick, and you always have to celebrate the things you love and take risks, and I hadn't flown halfway across the world not to.

September rolled around quickly, and I guess it's the thing when you grow up and you notice the passing of time in ways you didn't when you were a kid. You remember New Year's Eve more or less vividly, depending on alcohol consumption, like it was yesterday, but when you look at the calendar, it's September, the leaves are orange again, and you wonder where time has gone. I can still see myself in the basement of Sticky Mike's Frog Bar, in Brighton, on the closing night I wouldn't have missed for the world, celebrating the new year as Andrew W.K's Party Hard was playing loud underneath the sticky, low ceiling, and, next thing I knew, I was planning an autumn tour. Six shows, four countries. Back to basics, back on my bullshit- as if I ever left.
The first show for me was held in London, and it was surprisingly warm for a mid-September night. It was also a comeback to Islington Academy, where the 2017 Set It Off tour had ended with a bang (and where I apparently knew everyone without being aware of it.) The Roam and With Confidence co-headliner also started with a bang, and with a stupid cut on my spine as someone dug their fingernails down my back as I crowdsurfed. I remember it stinging, but I wasn't expecting the bloody red marks on my skin when I got out of the shower later that night. There was, as always, this coming home feeling.
I headed to Bristol, where I hadn't been in a very long time. I struggle to even remember the last time. With Confidence were playing last, and I mostly remember this family standing next to me during Roam, where I was on the edges of the moshpit for the most part, and they all looked positively terrified. It was on a boat, which felt like home, Paris home, and it was a lovely time. I wasn't aware I knew the words to Drops Of Jupiter off by heart, but, surprise surprise, I did.
I ran out of work like a cannonball with last night's glitter on my face to make Birmingham. I couldn't find stage times anywhere online, which also felt like home, Paris home, so it was a case of jumping on a train and hoping for the best. I prepared everything to be as quick as possible, ran down the road to the Travelodge, basically threw my things over the counter, and ran back to the venue, only to arrive sometime during Woes- crisis averted. I think I know Birmingham like the back of my hand until I get there, and I remember following a group of guys who "looked like they were going to the show" down the road, only for these people to be the members of Roam. Oh, well.

Mainland Europe started the following Sunday in Antwerp, where I had not been in years and where I had never attended a show. Being part-Belgian, I have a special attachment to all things Belgium, which made the experience even more remarkable to me. Just a different kind of home. I loved walking around the city during the day and having fries, despite the sad weather and how I smacked myself in the face with my own umbrella more times than I care to count. The show was on the quieter side of energy, but I still had a brilliant time, singing every word and dancing by myself like your average white dad at his neighbour's barbecue after three beers and a cheeky glass of bourbon. I remember Jayden asking the crowd if anyone knew the meaning of the word pâquerette, and I cheered, expecting everyone to follow suit as Belgium is, in parts, a French-speaking country. I didn't think that much attention was going to end up on my little person, the girl in the crowd who knew that a pâquerette was a daisy, and shouting "I'm French" to justify the knowledge when Jayden looked confused that someone knew. Giving an accidental French lesson to scene Belgium was not part of the plan, but it is a fond memory of mine. Just as were all the conversations that happened afterwards, the guy from Woes who was so kind to me he almost made me cry, and me shouting that wine was gross in a corridor. I changed my tune since. Wine is alright.
Paris happened the next Saturday, at the end of the day from hell. My flight out of Gatwick Airport was delayed for no reason I remember and, by the time my brother picked me up, traffic out of Charles De Gaulle Airport into Paris was a nightmare. It took so long that he had to abandon me at some random metro station so I would have the hope of making it on time in a venue where I'd never been before. I thought it would finally be my chance to share my love of With Confidence with my brother, but every Parisian car got in the way, and he only made it to the 1999 for Roam. (He did see me stagedive to Head Rush, so he's a winner regardless.) By the time I arrived, two songs had already been played, and everything felt so urgent and fast-paced that I remember throwing my things on an undefined pile of bags on the side of the room and running into the moshpit. This was going to be my night, with my friends, whether every bloody car in the city of love wanted it or not. There is always going to be something emotional about that one thing we do in Paris, the way we kiss each other on the cheek to say hello, moshpit or not. I rarely care for anything patriotic, and I don't even like la bise that much, but I don't mind it when it's like that.
The tour ended for everyone and myself in Eindhoven, at the Dynamo, one of my favourite places and venues on Earth. The Netherlands, I found, does live music, among other things, better than everyone else. Lockers, anyone? The show was a lot bigger than most of the European Union ones, and the atmosphere was simply perfect. There is nothing I can fault Eindhoven for, not even the weather. My feet were frozen by the end of the night, waiting at the back of the venue for a goodbye, the middle-aged lady in me making a comeback, a see you later, an "enjoy the next few tours without me" joke that partially was understood, partially wasn't, but I didn't care one bit, because for three weekends and the odd Monday nights, I had had the time of my life, and I can't ever be mad when a perfect evening ends with a square of vegan Tony's Chocolonely chocolate. For six nights, I felt like I was exactly where I belonged, like I knew my place in the world, and I couldn't have asked for more.

I didn't want the Love And Loathing era to end, because I was deeply attached to the memories, and it turned out to be an instrumental part of my life, bringing me the lovely and the quiet I needed, taking me back home, and showing me where what mattered most is. Things have been quiet in the With Confidence camp ever since, save for the release of their cover of Train's Drops Of Jupiter in November 2019, as part of the Songs That Saved My Life project. I first listened to the studio version in Melbourne Tullamarine Airport, waiting for my flight to Hobart, and no matter how hard I tried to listen to other things, other songs, other artists, the only soundtrack to that plane journey to one of the most beautiful spots on the planet, to the silent morning airport and the view over the stunning Tasmanian coast, all rugged edges and turquoise waters, was Drops Of Jupiter. I also played it on loop a stupid amount of times as I was walking to Dee Why Beach, in Sydney, in an op shop, and down the tree-lined street, on my way to have a picnic by the seaside, and, if I tried hard enough, I could probably tell you what I bought from the shop and what I had for lunch. This song, whatever course my life takes, will always take me back to the three weeks I spent traipsing around Australia, feeling unbelievably quiet inside and free, like the world was my oyster and nothing could stop me, like I didn't have to constantly be plagued by my anxieties and my insecurities. This song, though originally dealing with a heavy subject that hits close to home, sounds like everything I want to be feeling, all the time. It is pure joy, warmth, serotonin, an iced vegan latte and the sunshine warming up your shoulders and the back of your legs, the deep blue of the ocean and the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.

Waiting for new music felt like forever, but never once doubting it would happen. With Confidence, the self-titled third full-length record, lands on planet Earth tomorrow, and it's been, roughly, give or take a few weeks, three years since Love And Loathing. It took its sweet time, but there was never any fear. There have been a few songs released already, some changes to the band line-up, but my story has not changed much since 2017, it just expanded. Part of me, underneath the clutter anxiety tends to leave, knew I was in for the long haul basically after the first time I ever listened to Voldemort, and now, all of me knows this is not going anywhere any time soon. I embarrassingly called their music my lifeline at the start of this story, four years ago, and now, I'll just name it something that's there, unfailingly present, happy memories and quiet feelings at the click of a finger or at the touch of the needle on the record, but I don't have a pretty word to summarise it. It's there. Simple as.
There could be a nagging worry about listening to the follow-up to something you have loved as much as I adore Love And Loathing. How is it going to fit into the puzzle of my life and this story I have told everyone, many times over, sounding like a broken record, for the past four years? I won't know until tomorrow morning, and it's absolutely fine. It will be the soundtrack to something special, whatever that something is, however that is. It will just be.

A few days ago, I expressed an opinion that could potentially be seen as controversial: I find current UK-only line-ups to be somewhat underwhelming and lacking in variety. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong direction, but it seems I only see two or three bands in the list of supports, as if no one was making an effort to dive into the pool of all the music the UK has to offer to take their pick. See, I understand times are hard. I have not lived under a rock for the past eighteen months or so, and I am aware of how irrevocably the COVID-19 pandemic has affected the music industry. I also suspect, just like many others, that the United Kingdom going forward with Brexit, come hell or high water, is going to have disastrous consequences on cultural events. Finally, I imagine that not every smaller artist can afford to go on tour at the minute.
That being said, more can definitely be done. I remember the early 2010s in the United Kingdom, when a lot of day festivals offered similar line-ups, and when bands often toured together and traded supports, but it still felt like there was more variety in the musical landscape. It never felt like a bunch of big bands, and a tiny pool of support acts. I would have never jumped on so many Megabuses if I had grown bored with the music the other side of the Channel was offering.
Because I do not like to throw controversial opinions on an industry I deeply care about without anything to back up my claims, here is a list of ten bands and artists hailing from the United Kingdom. Some have already been included in cool line-ups, some are all brand new and starting out, all should be thought about more in some not too distant future. 

After Reason

Disclaimer: I decided to write this list in alphabetical order, and it just so happens the first band has two of my good friends on its line-up. Simple coincidence. That being said, the reason I am recommending After Reason to everyone is not just because I will forever remain the untalented friend standing on the side of every room, but because their post-hardcore sound truly works for me. I remember spinning their first single, Hollow, released in September 2020, something like a million times, and it definitely was one of my favourite songs of the past year. In 2021, After Reason released a banging debut EP, Life Outside Your Head, giving me all the Alexisonfire vibes I could possibly want from music, and they are set to play a release show at the Pipeline, in Brighton, on the 20th of August.

As Everything Unfolds

I discovered As Everything Unfolds in a small venue, somewhere in High Wycombe, wherever in the world that actually was, and their post-hardcore sound has stuck with me pretty much immediately. I remember watching them again at Torquay's excellent Burn It Down Festival, in 2019, and following every release since. Every song they have is, quite simply put, in unpoetic terms, catchy as hell, with the potential to become an anthem you want to sing along to. The band's debut album, Within Each Lies The Other, came out this year, and they have recently been announced as main support on Holding Absence's upcoming European tour, in March 2022. (Do we have to call them European Union tours now?) I am so ridiculously excited about it.

Bleak Soul

For me, these past two years have been a time to learn how to broaden my musical horizons, which has meant paying attention to side-projects and solo ventures just outside of the borders of my favourite bands. This is how I found myself checking out Bleak Soul, a musical adventure started by Ben Langford-Biss, founding member and ex-guitarist and vocalist in As It Is. There are two impressive releases for the world to dive into: Existential Meditation, released last year, a debut album full of songs focusing majorly on mental health situations, as well as a bunch of singles in 2021, which caught my attention first. Sound-wise, I undoubtedly hear nineties influences, on the grungier side of the spectrum, mid-2000s emo, which I was always bound to love, and a sometimes ambient vibe. It feels like every song has its own, particular atmosphere, as if Bleak Soul's music could steer in any direction, even the one you don't expect it to-and I dig that a lot.

Decay

This is one of those: I literally have no idea how or where I found Decay, but now I have, I am here to stay, long haul and all. The four-piece's debut album, Staring At The Sun, landed in the list of my favourite music from 2020, and I think what I had to say at the time still sums up my feelings pretty well: "Every time I think nothing from the old island can surprise me anymore, someone comes along and punches me in the face. This year, it was Decay." I don't like comparing bands to each other, but if I had to, only because I am tragic at putting genre names on sound and "melodic post-hardcore" could mean different things to different people, I would describe Decay as the slightly heavier lovechild of Basement and pre-GLUE Boston Manor. They have been one of my favourite new bands last year, and I am super excited to follow what they'll be doing in the future.

Delaire The Liar

Delaire The Liar is a band whose unique name I would see everywhere on my social media for the longest time, and I ended up checking them out for the first time during the Taste Of Isolation livestream last year, when they performed a Paramore cover set. (A mutual love of Paramore's perfection might be a foolproof way into my heart.) I guess, if you want to be technical about it, Delaire The Liar falls under some sort of post-hardcore umbrella, but their vocals are wildly different from most other bands, and they are what drew me in. They have recently signed to Rude Records (which features amazing bands such as All Get Out, Young Culture, or Blood Youth on their roster) and are set to go on tour alongside Scotland's very own Vukovi later this year. Delaire The Liar's newest single, HALLOWEEN, is available everywhere and, in unpretty and straightforward terms, it is one hell of a banger.

Don't Worry

From 2016 to the end of 2019, watching my good friends in Evertim play, virtually, every venue in Brighton and around London has introduced me to plenty of amazing, lesser-known bands from the United Kingdom, bands I would have never come across otherwise, and Don't Worry are one of those, definitely the one I have followed the longest. An indie rock band from Essex, Don't Worry has something I love with every part of my raging emo heart- honest and emotional songwriting I can easily find myself in, the perfect blend of personal, mundane, and relatable in their words. Their songs have a similar energy to bands such as Modern Baseball and The Front Bottoms- you want to sing along in the crowd, happy and somewhat relieved everyone around you feels the same about the lyrics. I haven't seen Don't Worry live since Sticky Mike's in November 2016, there were quite a few misses and failed attempts, and I really hope I can fix it all in the future. 

InVisions

I have honestly no idea where I even found InVisions and how I came across their music. After that, I remember seeing a guy wear one of their windbreakers at a While She Sleeps show, then, seeing an ad for their merch line on my social media, recognising the windbreaker, and, since then, it seems they have been everywhere around me. (The windbreaker too.) If you like the melt-your-face type of heavy metalcore, InVisions is just the band for you. Real talk here: I have thoroughly enjoyed watching all my favourite heavy bands reach new heights in their careers and explore new sounds, often more electronic, but sometimes, all I want is to risk my life in a moshpit, choruses for days, and nasty breakdowns, and InVisions gives me all of that. They were one of many shows I had planned pre-pandemic, but never happened- until next time. The band has released a huge single, Gold Blooded, in May 2020, and they have also announced that their third album was mixed and mastered, so it shouldn't be too long until we get brand new material.

Lizzy Farrall

Lizzy Farrall might be the best-known artist on this list and, if you attend shows of the alternative variety in the United Kingdom or in Europe, you might have seen her play alongside bands such as Tiny Moving Parts, Can't Swim, labelmates The Story So Far, and Seaway. This is how I originally heard about her, but I fully jumped on board with her alternative-pop sound when she released her debut album in 2020, the excellent Bruise. What I truly love about Lizzy Farrall's artistry is that it comes accompanied by an entire package, and if you know my pop music sensitivities, you know how much I love it when sound comes with an aesthetic and a complete atmosphere. Listening to Bruise or Lizzy's music in general feels like entering someone else's corner of the universe, and I appreciate that a lot. (And Vincent Van Gogh references will never be lost on me.) She's announced as support on Set It Off's 2022 tour, and it should be a fantastic time.

Maypine

Just like Don't Worry and As Everything Unfolds, the reason why I have discovered the existence of Maypine was a show alongside Evertim in Guildford, in May 2018 and, believe me, trying to find that show on Facebook again was like sifting through a long list of misses and failed attempts. (There was sadly no amount of running down the road outside of Brighton's train station that could have got me to Sticky Mike's on time when they supported As It Is and Roam in December 2019.) Doing this, I am noticing that a lot of the music I tend to recommend is on the heavier side of the spectrum, as I guess you could also file Maypine under some sort of post-hardcore umbrella. The band's two latest songs, Repair/Replace and Roosevelt, both showcasing brilliant musicianship and anthemic qualities, were released in 2019, and they are playing Sometimes Fest in Eastbourne this weekend. Hopefully, this leads us to new music and more shows- fixing the failed attempts is overdue on my end.

Shaded

I remember seeing Shaded support Australian pop-punks Stand Atlantic in London, back in April 2019, but they truly caught my attention after one of my friends asked me to embroider her a tote bag with some of their lyrics. I don't like jumping into creative projects without knowing the songs, so I listened to their 2018 EP, A Familiar Love, and went from there. Their catchy kooks, their pop feel mixed with fun punk sounds and high energy got me on board, and they should most definitely appear on more pop-punk leaning line ups in future tours. They have released two EPs, _001 and _002, in 2020 and 2021, that see them explore new sounds and different influences, as well as a new single, My Nightmare, all soft, lovely, and acoustic, last week.

Obviously, I am aware that the United Kingdom has a lot more to offer than just ten artists- these are just a few that caught my attention and that I wanted to speak about. Don't hesitate to recommend me more- I'm always down to broaden my musical horizons, and maybe we can do one of those with a different list in the future! 

 (Disclaimer: A content warning is in order as we briefly mention severe mental health issues and gun violence towards the end of this.)

I have mentioned it before, and I wrote enough about folklore and evermore at the end of 2020 for it to come as a surprise to anyone, but let's get this one out of the way, for future reference: I am thoroughly obsessed with Taylor Swift. I could write an essay on all the reasons why and what makes me tick in her music and her artistry, and this post is a good place to start.

At the end of June 2021, Taylor announced the next album she would re-record was Red, and it is scheduled to hit the shelves on November 19, 2021. Red was Swift's fourth full-length album and originally came out on October 22, 2012. Stylistically, it is thought of as her first true pop album, and saw her collaborating with pop producer and legend Max Martin. Martin is the Swedish man behind everyone's favourite hits ever since the nineties and, as of today, he has written or co-written twenty-four Billboard Hot 100 number-one songs, including Britney Spears' ...Baby One More Time, N*Sync's It's Gonna Be Me, and many of Taylor Swift's top-charting tracks.

Despite Red being thought of as Taylor Swift's first true pop record, it mixes many different genres and still presents hints of the country music she was previously known for. It was nominated for a wide range of awards, including Album of the Year and Country Album of the Year at the 2014 Grammy Awards. It went number one in quite a few countries and sold over a million copies in its first week. That's the part that's the strangest, most foreign to write about as a French fan. Despite her international success and her breaking records almost daily nowadays, Taylor is not part of our mainstream musical landscape. Her music barely gets any radio airplay or television airtime in France and, at best, some of her songs will be used as background music on random reality TV programmes. (The last place I heard a Taylor Swift song played in the wild in France was a remote McDonalds in Normandy.) Red might have sold over a million copies in a week, but it only sold fifty thousand total in France, since its release, which is nothing. 

Red also counts as Taylor Swift's only true break-up record, and here's what she had to say about it: "All the different emotions that are written about on this album are all pretty much about the kind of tumultuous, crazy, insane, intense, semi-toxic relationships that I've experienced in the past two years. All those emotions- spanning from intense love, intense frustration, jealousy, confusion, all of that- in my mind, all those emotions are red. You know, there's nothing in between. There's nothing beige about those feelings." (Red was also the start of Swift equating colours with feelings in her lyrics, but it is such a wide yet niche process it deserves its own, separate explanation.)

There are plenty of people who have explained and will explain the ins and outs of Taylor's re-recording process, the reasons why and the legal technicalities of it, so it wouldn't take much of an effort for anyone to find a version of the explanation that is clearer than mine, but here's my attempt.

From 2005 to 2018, Taylor Swift was signed to Big Machine Records, a Nashville-based label run by Scott Borschetta, who was just starting out at the time. The contract, which she signed at the age of sixteen, gave the label the rights to her first six records. In 2019, after Swift signed a deal granting her full ownership of her music with Universal, Big Machine Records was acquired by Scooter Braun, and his deal included the masters of her first six albums. Taylor explained that she had tried to buy her masters back for years and was not given a chance unless she signed another record deal with BMR, which she was not willing to do. ("For years I asked, pleaded for a chance to own my work. Instead I was given an opportunity to sign back up to Big Machine Records and "earn" one album back at a time, one for every new one I turned in. (...) I learned about Scooter Braun's purchase of my masters as it was announced to the world. All I could think about was the incessant, manipulative bullying I've received at his hands for years.") Since then, the masters have been sold by Braun to Shamrock Holdings, a private equity firm owned by the Disney estate, for about three hundred million dollars.

Following the very public dispute, Taylor Swift decided to re-record her first six albums to finally own her life's work, as she should, as any artist should. She started the process in April 2021 with the release of Fearless (Taylor's Version), and Red (Taylor's Version) is the second step in the journey. These re-recordings are replicas of her original songs so that, ideally, fans will choose them over the non-Taylor's Version ones. The ideas behind what she's doing are a, to own the work of a lifetime and b, to devalue her original catalogue, meaning the people who bought it will not profit from her work anymore. Since the streaming and sales of the non-Taylor's Version albums will drop considerably after their re-recorded counterpart comes out, as we have seen since Fearless (Taylor's Version), the music she does not own will not be worth much anymore, and certainly not the three hundred million dollars it was sold for.

As mentioned earlier in this post, Red (Taylor's Version) is coming out on November 19, 2021. The tracklist was revealed last week, and it contains a lot of exciting material. There will be thirty tracks in total: the sixteen original songs, the three original bonus tracks, an acoustic version of State Of Grace, the album opener, which was also on the deluxe version of the first recording, and ten "From the Vault" songs, which didn't make the original cut, back in 2012.

These ten "From the Vault" tracks include Ronan (a charity single based on a blog written by Maya Thompson about her son Ronan, who passed away from a form of cancer when he was four years old), Better Man (a song she wrote for country band Little Big Town), Babe (which she wrote for another country group, Sugarland), and the ten-minute version of fan favourite All Too Well (we'll get there later.) There will also be collaborations with Chris Stapleton (on I Bet You Think About Me), Ed Sheeran (on Run), Phoebe Bridgers (on Nothing New), and Foster The People's Mark Foster. The track on which Foster will appear has not been announced yet, so it's safe to assume he will either have songwriting credits or perform backing vocals (similar to Marcus Mumford on evermore's cowboy like me).

Most of these vault tracks as unheard as of yet. However, some lyrics to Nothing New featured on the deluxe edition journals accompanying Lover, in 2019. ("I'm getting older and less sure of what you like about me anyway / How can a person know everything at 18 and nothing at 22 / And will you still want me when I'm nothing new?") 

There are rumours and speculations that a first single will be coming out on the 13th of August, prompted by one of Swift's many cryptic tweets, "Your next clue will be in the spot where you hear red..." (I personally have no idea. I have a tendency to easily fall down a rabbit hole of fan theories, which I might discuss in more detail eventually, so I want to believe we are getting something this month. I am personally hoping and speculating the first single will be 22, because of the lyrics included in the announcement post.) 

Obviously, as a fan, I am excited to hear Red (Taylor's Version) as a whole, and I am rooting for Taylor Swift to finally own her music and the work of a lifetime. As a bit of a nerd for such things, I cannot wait to listen to the songs millions of times over and figure out the details and tiny words she has changed, as if I have the musical ear to find new instruments or hear key changes, unless they're super obvious. There are also things I am specifically waiting for, and here's a shortlist of them.

1/ I Knew You Were Trouble.

For a basic, no-depth timeline, before Red, Taylor Swift was known as a country artist. There were already pop (as well as many other genres) inclinations in her music, but nothing like what we would see on Red. She could arguably qualify as a pop-star pre-Red, but she wasn't yet working with powerhouses like Max Martin, a man who has defined the sound of mainstream pop for the past twenty-or-so years. One of the album's best-known singles, I Knew You Were Trouble., represents one of her most drastic sound changes of the era, and it's all down to the dubstep-like drop before the first chorus. I know it's there, and at the same time, I am always taken by surprise every time I hear it. It's one of these tiny music details I wish I could hear for the first time again. The idea that a predominantly country artist, America's sweetheart, at that, included dubstep-leaning sounds in her music, against all odds and undoubtedly against all recommendations, was mindblowing. One of the main reasons I am so unbelievably excited about it is because she now works with different people and producers. It is safe to assume Red (Taylor's Version), just like Fearless (Taylor's Version) and her most recent material, will be produced by two of her most-known collaborators, Jack Antonoff and Aaron Dessner. What will they do with Max Martin tracks? How will they translate their uniqueness? Will we feel the original shift all over again? Yes, it was a tiny drop, a split second, but I'm at the edge of my seat for it.

2/ Begin Again

It may be a controversial opinion of sorts, but Begin Again is my favourite song on Red. There is so much hope inhabiting this song, and such an empowering feeling when you think about all the things your ex-significant other or person who broke your heart didn't appreciate about you, but you have learnt to. You like all those things, you get the songs. I am head over heels in love with the idea that things can become better after you have spent what feels like an eternity believing they only brought pain and sorrow. Almost ten years have passed since Taylor Swift first recorded Begin Again, and I cannot start to explain how impatient I am to listen to her words again, but with that extra decade of experience underneath her belt. On top of that, a fantastic part of the re-recording experience as a fan has been to admire the maturity her voice has acquired as a musical instrument. The contrast was already something special between Fearless and Fearless (Taylor's Version), and I am excited to see what it will sound like on Begin Again (Taylor's Version).

3/ The Moment I Knew

The Moment I Knew is a later favourite in my life, a song I rediscovered recently and admitted I hadn't loved enough in the past. The lyrics are so perfectly descriptive and precise, in a way only Taylor can do, and they take you exactly where the story of the song is happening. You feel like you are in that place too, observing and experiencing. You see what's happening, you can picture the red lipstick, the tears in the bathroom, the party dress, and the Christmas lights glistening. It is so easy to understand what the phrase "the moment I knew" summarises and the desperation in the sentence "he said he'd be here." It's such a simple story, but one with big consequences for a relationship already on the rocks, and one that paints such a detailed picture. Ten years down the line, I want to know what that picture is going to look like. Am I going to feel that same hopelessness when I hear the line "he said he'd be here?" It's natural to wonder how songs that describe such a specific moment in time will resonate when the emotions surrounding them are not fresh anymore, and it's strangely exciting to discover what they will become.

4/ All Too Well (ten-minute version)

All Too Well is an unshakeable favourite among Taylor Swift fans, but it is also more widely regarded as a masterpiece in songwriting and raw emotion, and considered one of the best songs in music, period. A writer at Rolling Stone called it his favourite song of the past decade, and it has been praised by well-known publications and media such as Vulture, Billboard, NPR, NME, or The New York Times. The song, originally over five minutes long, was never released as an official single, but it remains beloved in the fanbase and gets played live regularly. In a recent interview with Rolling Stone, Swift mentioned its recording process: "It was that song but probably had seven extra verses. I included the f-word, and I remember my sound guy was like, "I burned a CD of that thing you were doing in case you want it." I was like, "Sure." I ended up taking it home and listening to it and was like "I actually really like this, but it's 10 minutes long. I need to pare it down." One of Taylor's long-time collaborators, Liz Rose, has declared that All Too Well was "probably a 20-minute song when [Swift] called me." Since then, the fans, myself included, have been dying to hear the original version, swearing and all. On the 18th of June, when she announced Red (Taylor's Version), Swift wrote: "This will be the first time you hear all 30 songs that were meant to go on Red. And hey, one of them is even ten minutes long." When the tracklist was revealed, we all found out, for sure, that All Too Well, the ten-minute version, would be closing the Red re-recording. (I'm partially excited and partially terrified.)

I do not know where the swearing is, no one does, but two covers of the song have helped me decide where I would like it to be. In The Wonder Years' Dan Campbell's version, for the ReRed compilation, he sings "this thing was a masterpiece 'til you fucked it all up" (instead of "tore it all up"). And in Slowly Slowly's Ben Stewart's cover, he sings "now you mail back my shit" (instead of "now you mail back my things.") And I might be biased because I love both musicians and covers, but I have decided it's where I want the swearing to be. He fucked it all up, and he mailed back her shit.

Check out the ReRed compilation here - all profits go to the Equal Justice Initiative.

5/ Collaborations, I Bet You Think About Me, and the potential I Almost Do parallel.

As previously mentioned, there will be four collaborators among the "From The Vault" tracks: indie darling Phoebe Bridgers, Taylor's long-time friend Ed Sheeran, Foster The People's frontman Mark Foster, and country superstar Chris Stapleton. I tend to feel neutral towards Ed Sheeran, though I have always loved +, and I love the work he has done with Taylor in the past. His feature on reputation's End Game is well-written, and Everything Has Changed, also present on Red, is lovely and hopeful and has grown on me immensely. Sound-wise, I hope Run, their From the Vault track, is in a similar vibe- something quieter, almost acoustic, that focuses on their vocals and lyrics.

I don't know much about Mark Foster or Foster The People, but this man has contributed to one of the most deceitfully upbeat songs of our generation, Pumped Up Kicks. In my head (and, I suppose, in many people's heads), the track started as a fun indie song, great to dance to. Then, I read somewhere that the song was much darker than we believed, and clocked the line "better run, better run, faster than my bullet" in the chorus. Only while I was writing this am I discovering the inspiration behind the song, explained by Foster himself. "I was trying to get inside the head of an isolated, psychotic kid" and, "I wrote Pumped Up Kicks when I began to read about the growing trend in teenage mental illness. I wanted to understand the psychology behind it because it was foreign to me. It was terrifying how mental illness among youth had skyrocketed in the last decade. I was scared to see where the pattern was headed if we didn't start changing the way we were bringing up the next generation." Long story short, the song we all danced to and sang along to at the start of the decade was about a mentally troubled teenager who might be committing a shooting in his school. Obviously, I am not expecting anything similar in terms of stories or topics in whatever Foster will be contributing to in Red (Taylor's Version), but I am keeping in mind that he basically put the happiest beat on some of the darkest lyrics in modern pop.

During 2020, you couldn't go anywhere or log onto social media without hearing about Phoebe Bridgers. She was nominated four times in the 2021 Grammy Awards (Best Alternative Music Album for Punisher, Best Rock Performance for Kyoto, Best Rock Song for Kyoto, and Best New Artist), and Elton John loves her music so much that he told her, in his podcast, "if you don't win at least one, I'm going to hit someone, OK?" I personally see a collaboration between Phoebe and Taylor as something that was bound to happen, as both are widely known for their ability to describe melancholy and sadness, and they are both recognised as brilliant lyricists. They both are storytellers in their purest form, and they tend to include many details in their songs, painting a precise picture of what they are narrating. We already know Bridgers is set to appear on Nothing New, a song written about aging, growing up, and growing old, as if that's not going to hurt, from the lyrics we have so far. However, it is also worth mentioning that many women who collaborate with Taylor Swift do so on backing vocals. Examples include HAIM on no body no crime, Maren Morris on You All Over Me, and Colbie Caillat on Breathe. Is Phoebe Bridgers going to be the artist who breaks the streak?

Finally, the story of why I know Chris Stapleton is a little more fun and light-hearted. Back when I used to work in a certain magical building not far from London, I was called over to help a VIP group make their purchases, and as it so turned out, that VIP posse was led by Chris Stapleton. I didn't know who he was, I was only told he was a country singer and had collaborated with Justin Timberlake in the past. (They performed a Tennessee Whiskey/Drink You Away medley during the 2015 Country Music Awards, and Stapleton went on to do backing vocals on Timberlake's song Say Something. For context, one of my team leaders loved Justin Timberlake, hence why he appeared in the conversation.) Due to the pressure we were under every time a VIP group came into our area, I don't think I have ever shaken that much while holding someone's bank card in my life, and I am pleased to report he was a very nice and polite person. When I heard he was collaborating with Taylor Swift, the first thing I thought of is "I met this man once!" and, after seeing the picture chosen by most media outlets, my brain said, "he didn't look like that when I met him!" Music-wise, I only know he is a well-known country singer, and since I have loved every single one of Taylor Swift's country features, I have no doubt I will love what Chris brings to the table on I Bet You Think About Me.

As a long-term Taylor Swift fan, I am involuntarily trained to try and figure out if any sort of content she puts out, from song lyrics to numbers, is interconnected. Every time I see the title I Bet You Think About Me, my gut goes to another song from Red, I Almost Do. Every line in the verses starts with the phrase "I bet," and the first verse even includes the line "And I bet sometimes you wonder 'bout me." Obviously, this is just speculation from my hyperactive brain, but I can't help but think I Bet You Think About Me and I Almost Do are linked.

After the release of Red (Taylor's Version), there will be another four albums left to re-record: Taylor Swift, her 2006 debut album, fan-favourite Speak Now, her smash hit 1989, and 2017's massively underrated reputation. Due to a five-year exclusivity clause, if I'm not mistaken on the legal term, the re-recording process of reputation can only start in 2022, so it's safe to assume this one will come last. I don't know which one will come next, but I have a feeling we will get 1989 (Taylor's Version) in the summer. It feels like a summer album, after all, a collection of anthems to reclaim yourself after you've gone through a lot, and it feels right to have it hit the waves in the summer.

The care and work Taylor Swift puts into these re-recorded albums, the lengths she goes to find fantastic people to collaborate with, and the sense of excitement she creates over songs that are already known and adored is bewildering to me, and one of the reasons why I admire her as much as I do. I'd almost feel bad having a wishlist of things I would love to hear, or people I would love for her to work with- she's already doing so much. However, here's a shortlist of things I would adore, and I might even expand on it later- that's why a hyperactive brain does to you.

The main thing I want would technically fall under a From The Vault track on Taylor Swift (Taylor's Version), and it's a re-record of her song I'd Lie. It was the first song of hers I've heard, and it remains one of my top favourites, thirteen years down the line. The second thing I would adore is for her to properly record the spoken-word version of one of her poems, which appeared on the reputation world tour. Before she performed Getaway Car, you could hear her voice in the stadium reciting a poem entitled Why She Disappeared. I have listened to it many, many, many times since, and it feels empowering to me, just like a lot of reputation. I would love nothing more than having it as an interlude on the re-recorded version, just before what would become Getaway Car (Taylor's Version). And, finally, if I could have a wishlist of collaborators for what comes next, it would include Olivia Rodrigo, Carly Rae Jepsen, Tim McGraw, Hayley Williams, and yes, it's far-fetched, but hear me out- Jimmy Eat World's Jim Adkins.

This past Friday, I did something I had not done since the twenty-ninth of February, 2020: I attended a live show. Live music? In 2021? Not on the Internet? You must be crazy.

The event, including two bands (French outfits Paerish and Mascara) as well as DJs, is organised by the Supersonic, a venue in Paris that is notorious for regularly presenting free live music. Over the years, they have had the likes of Tiny Moving Parts, Microwave, Lizzy Farrall, Lime Cordiale, Jeff Rosenstock or Fangclub playing, as well as some cool local bands to watch such as Atlas For Home, Back On Earth, or Two Trains Left. They have moved their free live events to the outside area of the Trabendo, another famous Parisian venue, and started everyone's come back to live music.

The evening started with French band Mascara and, for the most part, it felt strange actually watching humans playing music for real, with instruments, in front of me and in person, as opposed to the Internet, where I have watched a large number of livestreams since the start of the pandemic. Mascara are local, straight from Paris, and are brand new on the scene- they only have a few EPs out, the latest one, Cameo Blue Estate, having been released in July 2020. Watching them and going in blind, I thought one thing: I will be listening to them when I go home, which I believe is the point of a support band. If you find yourself being interested in discovering more about them, it means they have done it right. In all fairness, they have done it more than just "right," they have done it extremely well, and I loved the distinctive vocals and the perfect blend of melody and heaviness in their music.

Paerish is a name I remember seeing quite a lot over the past five years or so, since the release of their first album, 2016's Semi-Finalists. (After verification on my end, I knew I had not dreamt seeing their name pass by when they supported none other than pop-punk legends Sum 41 in 2017.) They have released their sophomore album, Fixed It All, in 2021, and this evening at the Trabendo was the first time they got an opportunity to play those new songs live- they go on composing the largest part of the setlist. On my end, I ended up listening to Paerish when they appeared on my Spotify suggestions earlier this year, and I immediately clicked with their traditional emo sound, right up my raging emo alley.
After eighteen months without live music of any kind for most of us, the excitement and pure joy are palpable in the crowd. Immediately, people start singing along, undoubtedly having listened to the new album since its recent release, and it doesn't take long for a moshpit to start close to the stage. (I know I am usually known for my heavy moshpit presence, but I chose to dance like your average white dad after three beers at their neighbour's barbecue, this time around. One step at a time.) Even when you are not a part of it, it's simply so joyous to watch, a dose of pure serotonin straight into everyone's veins. Many are the people running by the Trabendo (there is a platform up the side of the neighbouring Philarmonie de Paris) and stopping by, taking pictures, probably surprised at the sight of something very few people have seen in the past year and a half. People even crowdsurf at the end of an electric forty-five-minute set, concluded by a surprise brand new song.

All in all, it was a perfect way for me to get back on the live music train. I have coped surprisingly okay for the most part, even though I am now dying to get back into the heart of things, but seeing people mosh, crowdsurf, and even do something as simple as singing along made me quietly emotional. Maybe we've all taken these things for granted, you know. Live music, audiences, connecting with like-minded people over the easiest and most universal form of communication, music, culture. Maybe we've taken it all for granted, and the after part of the pandemic needs to be all of us fighting tooth and nail for it.

I'll start by seeing Paerish and Mascara again when they come through town.

Check out Mascara on their Bandcamp here. 

Check out Paerish on Spotify here. (My personal favourite songs are Fixed It All, Violet, and You & I, featuring Pat Miranda of Movements.)

(Disclaimer: Everyone present at the event either had to show proof of double vaccination or a negative COVID test.)