The motto to this was "why the hell not?"

There is still a part of me that feels weird at the fact that I went to see Refused on the grounds of "why the hell not" mixed with "I used to live in a place where I felt miserable and didn't want to see anyone so I figured I needed to be out more than I needed my money even though I was unemployed". I needed an escape from the real world and being unemployed and living with sexist, sometimes downright mean people and Refused was that escape. Why did I pick Refused over the million other bands that were probably playing towns within my reach at that time?

Why the hell not.

And it was Friday night and I had just called my brother in sobs because I didn't know what to do with my life and I didn't know how to get out of how miserable I had become, and it was super sunny and warm and I dragged myself to the Concorde 2 to see Refused. There was no issue at the end of it, they weren't the solution to all my problems, they weren't the end to my unemployment and my loneliness. But they were an escape in the form of one of the best bands I have ever seen.

I knew them. Of course I did. Of course I had listened to The Shape of Punk to Come and of course it is an incredible album. But I couldn't call myself a Refused fan. I just knew. There are those bands, you know they have changed the game and you know that without them, your favourite bands wouldn't even exist, and you know they are objectively among the best things since sliced bread. And Refused is clearly one of those bands and I knew it. And I got to feel it. And that's all the difference.

I could feel it the second they walked on stage. I was standing in my little corner and I knew and then, in the blink of an eye, I could feel it. Something snapped. I know I often say this, but the passion in that band is mindblowing. The only difference is I wasn't watching a band who was just starting out. I was watching a band who had already proven themselves and were coming to Brighton as heroes, not newbies. And I'd rarely seen that much passion in a band who has changed the shape of music as we know it. Because they have. As soon as a single band has influenced the music of a single band you love, they have changed the shape of music as you know it. They have left a mark. 

Refused, they deliver the goods. And not just in a "everyone has a good time" kind of way (even though I am pretty sure everyone had a good time, myself included). In an unforgettable way. In a way that they say intelligent things on stage, and they promote good values, and they want the same things you do, and they want equality and they hate sexism, and sometimes it's nice to hear it in a matter of fact way, not in a "open this shit up if you think women are precious creatures we must cherish and value" way. They also have that kind of humour I love. Dennis Lyxzén is one hell of a frontman, funny and clever, and also down to Earth and humble. When you see a band like Refused, a band that has had such an influence on the punk and hardcore scene as you know it, you don't always understand how it became that way. How have we gone from someone with a self-deprecating humour and a passion for fighting for good to dudes who think it's a perfectly reasonable idea to say that they're doing this for the guys who start moshpits?


There was such an energy in the crowd - everyone was ecstatic, moshers and people standing quietly alike. It was shared with the band, a band who is giving their all from start to finish can only encounter a crowd who is also giving their all from start to finish. Around me, I see big smiles, I see people reliving their youth and screaming the words they not only love but also believe in, I see sweating people coming out of the centre of the audience with exhausted faces but shiny eyes like throwing themselves in a sea of other people was exactly what they needed from life. And maybe it was. Because maybe I wasn't the only one leaving with exactly what they needed. Refused gave me my escape from the real world and comforted me in the idea that this scene, this little world, those hardcore bands and those pop-punk kids, they are where I belong and it's fine.






This is probably a bit of a mess and it doesn't tell you about the actual performance, but sometimes, I suppose, feelings are more important. I left feeling refreshed, feeling like I wasn't fucking everything up in life, feeling better, and I also left impressed by a band who knows what it means to give a hundred percent of yourself to a crowd, who knows what it means to leave a mark on a crowd, who knows what it means to perform. They just are the essence of a band. Full stop.